How to Prepare for Mediation

Know what you are trying to resolve before you walk in. In a family law case, that typically means parenting time, child support, alimony, and division of assets and debts. In a civil matter, it means understanding your claim, what you're owed or what you owe, and what a reasonable resolution looks like to you.

Write down your priorities — the issues most important to you — and the areas where you have more flexibility. Knowing the difference between the two before you arrive will help you negotiate more effectively.

Mediation works best when both parties come in with a realistic sense of what a court might do if the case went to trial. You don't need a perfect prediction — but you should understand the general range of likely outcomes so you can evaluate settlement offers sensibly. If you're represented, review this with your attorney before the session. If you're not represented, consider scheduling a brief consultation first. 

Bring or have access to any documents relevant to the issues being discussed — financial statements, tax returns, pay stubs, a list of assets and debts, a proposed parenting schedule, or any agreements already in writing. The more organized you are, the less time gets spent reconstructing facts during the session. 

Mediation sessions can last several hours. They involve difficult conversations about important topics. Going in rested, having eaten, and with a clear head matters more than it sounds. Plan for the session to take time — don't schedule anything immediately after that would create pressure to rush. 

Mediation is not court. There is no winner and loser. The goal is a workable agreement both parties can live with. Parties who come in focused solely on "winning" often leave without an agreement — and then a judge decides for them. Parties who come in focused on resolving the dispute usually do better.

The mediator is there to help both sides communicate and find common ground. Use the private caucus sessions — when the mediator meets with each party separately — to share your real concerns, priorities, and flexibility. Those private sessions are confidential and are where most real movement happens. 

If an agreement is reached, it will be written out and signed the same day. A signed Mediated Settlement Agreement is binding and irrevocable — it cannot be undone after signing. Read it carefully. Ask questions. Make sure it says what you think it says.